Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Oh I Didn't Mean it Like That......

Hey Finessees! I'm back for day 2 of Joi's Mini Blog Challenge Party.  Cause I like to partay hey hey hey!!!! Today we are challenged to discuss something controverisal.  So finessees, I would like to share with  you racial comments or reactions that I receive more often than not at work.

First a little background.  I attended Howard University for undergraduate, and New York University College of Dentistry.  Post graduation, I became faculty at NYU's dental school for approximately 5years.  Currently I work in two different offices one on Park Ave (high end---think Forbes) and Tribeca (think NY urban hipster -new money).  Additionally, I am on the only practicing African American in both offices.

Office mates having discussion on cars:
Dr. X: I've had all different color cars
Me:  I prefer dark color cars navy or black/ always black interiors.
Dr. X:  Oh like camoflauge LOL
Me:  Blank stare instant mean mug on my face
Dr. X: Oh c'mon I didn't mean it like that
Me: So how exactly did you mean it?  Sucks teeth and says GTFOHWTHBS

Patient discovering it's me doing their treatment.
Patient not pleased to discover
Me: Morning patient x. Any changes in your health? What's bothering you today?
Patient: Oh I'll wait to tell the dr.
Me: You're on my schedule.
Me: No
Patient: Crickets. Nooo you're the assistant
Me: Not for the past 13 years sweetie.

Patient dismissing my recommendations.
Me: Sir you have xyz disease.  The standard of care is.....
Patient: Huh? No way.  I want the Dr. to come in and have a look.
Me: -_-  Well, we can take you to the front desk for an eval with someone else.
Patient: No I will wait to see someone today.  I'm paying to see a dr not a tech.
Me: Le sigh

One day while walking down the hall with my own patient, a patient calls from the room to me:
Patient:  Excuse me young lady can you be a dear and call my driver and tell him I'm ready.
Me: -_- Pardon me? I didn't hear you I was talking to MY PATIENT
Patient: Repeats herself.

Random comments patients have made (none ever related to dentistry):
You're a pretty little black girl.
Are you mixed with something? How does your hair look like that?
Your ring is nutz? Is your husband bla?  Yes he stopped himself mid phrase.
You speak really well. You're not a New Yorker. What is that accent?

I could go on and on...why bother?  The sad truth of the matter is that  most people continue to make racial presumptions .  Often my professionalism is tested. All I can say is I am thankful to know and love the LORD!  LOLBVS

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  1. Wow!! So sad. Good for you for not getting too worked up. Ignorance is all around. I get the occasional "Oh, you're the dr?"...after the dismissed me in the beginning...lol

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hope I do wish it was s story I didn't have to tell. There are some good really nice patients but I continue to be amazed weekly by some people.

  2. People are ridiculous! I'll have people comment on the fact that I don't have an accent(for being Hispanic is the rest of the sentence they stop themselves fom saying). Or they are surprised to know that I graduated from college, then got married, THEN had my 1st child at 31yrs of age. People and their assumptions can get old real fast. Sorry you have to deal with that.

  3. Oh, how I love stereotypes and blatant foolishness. To be honest, conversations and assumptions like these are the epitome of ignorance - completely clueless and well meaning. Smh. #mbc

    1. Exactly, maybe one day people will wake up. Hatred is taught. I really wish people would end the cycle.

  4. I think you handled that well....much better than I probably would!!!

  5. V, you handle yourself so well. The stupidity and ignorance that we still have to face is ridiculous. #MBC


    1. It's hard. I lean on my faith and love of God to keep negative emotions at bay.

  6. I said, mmm mmm mmm and shook my head. Been there. I thought it was a southern thing. Geez. Some terrible things have been said in my presence like my coworkers forgot I was black. ~nuff said~ you already know. Love the "not for the past 13 years sweetie".

    1. It's hurtful and angering. I will never give them the pleasure of emotion. But truth be told, you know there were days when I went outside and called my mom, dad, and/or husband and cried early in my career. But ya girl has thickened her skin and got prayered up. Ya know #GODcanfixanything

  7. I am stunned. I shouldn't be, I know, but I am continually amazed by people's stupidity, ignorance, rudeness and racism. How tiring it must be to deal with that, Veronica. How sad that you have to deal with it at all.

    1. Dana, le sigh. You totally summed it up. I hold on to hope that one day this world we live in will figure out that hatred only creates more problems.

  8. SMH, all too familiar and it rolls off my shoulders but I let them know fo sho, lol! I didn't even know you were a dentist, not even after that awesome post from the last party....I remember thinking, hum that was very thorough and complete...wonder how she came up with that topic, lol!

    1. "JoAnn" I'm sure you had your share of people wanting to speak to the pharmacist 0_o. I used to call my family and cry but prayer and getting more grounded in my faith has put me in a totally different place.

  9. Unbelievable. I don't think I would have handled it as well as you. I would need to take a lot of deep breaths. What is up with some people?! First time here, but I will be back for sure.

  10. Ah, extreme racial tomfoolery. Gotta love it! Glad you didn't slap the spit out of some of their mouths, Veronica. And some of them NEED to have it slapped out!

    1. LOL Alison oh the violence. Truth be told I smack them in my mind all the time. Open hand head turning smacks.